It is that time of year, summer has arrived and that means
school is already out for many of our kiddos. While our children may be
celebrating, not every parent is nearly as excited. Summer burnout can happen
almost instantaneously as days are stretched beyond doctor and therapy
appointments, to long days at home or on vacations. Adjusting to new routines
is not just difficult for our kids, but can also quickly take its toll on
parents. Here are six tips to help you avoid the dreaded summer burnout and
take advantage of the positive aspects summer break has to offer.
Take Care of Yourself
First and foremost, you have to still find time for you. Even
though we hear this all the time, “Take care of yourself first,” as a special
needs parent we easily become consumed with the needs of our child(ren).
Sometimes, this can in turn become an unmet expectation place upon our spouse
to take care of us while we take care of the family. As a result, the pressure
builds and tension takes over. Instead, do not give up the little things you
did for yourself before summer began. Make those a priority and ask your spouse
or friends for help if you find yourself with little time to make this a
reality. Don’t compromise your own
health either and make sure you get enough rest each night. Bedtime might mean
a little extra time alone, but don’t forget to make healthy sleep habits so you
can be well energized for the next day of summer fun.
Take a Break and Take Advantage of Respite Services
Have you talked with your local EFMP about what respite
services are available? New respite opportunities are being added constantly to
combat long waiting lists and program limitability. You can also visit Child
Care Aware at http://www.naccrra.org/military-families
to find out more information. Take advantage of parent’s night out programs and
take in a movie or just grocery shop alone! Whatever is your peace, make time
for it and do it often. If you are a spouse of a deployed service member, check
to see what additional benefits you may qualify for in regards to child care.
If respite isn’t an option, see if you can connect with a
family you trust and offer to swap babysitting hours so each of you can get a
break.
Talk it out
Find a local support group or connect with other parents
using social media who are also special needs parents. Having someone that can
sympathize with your struggles and/or a listening ear can easily save you from
reaching the end of your rope. It isn’t an easy job and some days we may just
wish someone could take our place.
If you find yourself constantly feeling like you are alone
and unable to handle the stress, do not be ashamed to seek help. Depression and
anxiety can easily sneak its way in and there are many resources to help if you
find yourself reaching that point.
If you are near an installation, use your resources such as
talking with your healthcare provider or with a confidential counselor known as
a Military Family Life Consultant
. Other confidential services, regardless of geographic location, can be found
at Military Onesource as well.
Don’t Overschedule
Summer often means leave and vacations as well as additional
activities all around! Take advantage of these and have fun but don’t forget to
keep it simple! Nothing can ruin a wonderful summer day than having to rush
from one fun event to another then trying to cram in regular appointments and
therapies. For leave and vacations, build in time to relax, including after the
vacation is over. Everyone always needs a vacation from their vacation.
Keep Expectations Reasonable
While we have had a consistent routine throughout the year,
try to realize that summer transitions will mean additional chaos that could
rupture your current expectations. Meltdowns and tantrums may flare up which
will mean some days may all together have to be wiped clean of scheduled
events. Try to stick to routines as best you can to avoid this bubble effect,
but also remain flexible enough to say it isn’t the end of the world if today
we just need to stay in our jammies and watch cartoons.
Finally, Give Yourself Well Deserved Credit
What you do as a special needs parent is often a thankless
job. The challenges can easily outweigh the “benefits” at times and it’s easy
to forget what kind of strength we all have as parents. When considering all
you accomplish in a single day, take what you do to heart. Give yourself the
benefit of the doubt when things fall apart because no one is perfect! As
military families we are used to a complex lifestyle full of its own unique
sets of difficulties. We don’t necessarily have a “choice” whether to move
forward or not and parenting a child with special needs can feel the same way.
We do it because we don’t have any other choice but to be strong. But from the
outside looking in, you are one heck of an awesome individual worthy of some
praise! Often times, our parenting a special needs child is compared to a super
power and perhaps we should take that to heart.
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